Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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