Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just cut my nipple shaving
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
