So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
