you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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