well I can't set my house on fire every night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
