Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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