so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
