Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
