woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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