haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
