Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
