So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
