Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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