At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you didnt know i had herpes?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
