Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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