names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
