I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
