The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
