Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
