woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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