dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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