I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
