Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
