I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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