peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
