so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
