You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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