i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
