u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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