Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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