Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
