And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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