well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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