Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
