he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
