I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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