Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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