Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
