took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
