I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
