It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
