I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
