did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
