Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
