Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
