after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We left an ass print on the piano.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
