Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
