First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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