just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
