Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
