you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
