I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
