No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
