i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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