i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
