About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
