Your tits are I can't wait for
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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