six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And then he peed in my hair
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