She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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